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BBC Radio Kent Interview

Interview by Adam Dowling
April 2022
Seth Hunter speaks on BBC Radio Kent’s ‘Hero of the Week’ about how the buddi bench and other projects are making a difference in the community.
Interview by Adam Dowling
BBC Radio Kent | April 2022
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https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/giztajetfvvysdpvjdpny/Seth-Promoting-Spring-Picnic-Adam-Dowling-Show-BBC-Radio-Kent-1547-Tuesday-6th-May-25.mp3?rlkey=1tkccvxkb2yeiyk36u1qdvtis&e=1&st=ub1faqy3&raw=1
Interview by Andy Garland
August 2023
Seth Hunter, a finalist in BBC Radio Kent’s 2023 ‘Make a Difference Award’ (Great Neighbour Category), shares his story live on BBC Radio Kent.
Interview by Andy Garland
BBC Radio Kent | August 2023
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https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/i1hywsibg14ay0icczu3j/Seth-interviewed-about-buddi-bench-by-Andy-Garland-for-BBC-Radio-Kent-August-2023.mp3?rlkey=khx4pft0an4usu9xxdazpzr7d&e=1&st=qnfn7tnc&raw=1
Interview by Pat Marsh
April 2022
Seth Hunter speaks on BBC Radio Kent’s ‘Hero of the Week’ about how the buddi bench and other projects are making a difference in the community.
Interview by Pat Marsh
BBC Radio Kent | April 2022
0:00
0:29
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/ahrnube6uxyyca53z9kc7/bb-BBC-Kent-Radio-Seth-being-told-he-s-been-nominated-for-the-Great-Neighbour-Award-2023.mp3?rlkey=puhlrkp91x2hbq63nixao1wv2&e=1&st=mj8epna4&raw=1
Be More Dog! Woof, Woof!!!

“Be More Dog!” 🐶 

This is my motto.

Should it be yours?

What do I mean by this?

I’m suggesting that being more dog-like is a powerful antidote to human distress. This idea encourages us to do more things that cause our tails to wag!

Be sure to read to the end of this piece to see how I manage to pivot from Dogs to Diogenes (my favourite Greek Philosopher) - You’re welcome!

Here are some key tenants as to what dogs might teach us:

Dogs live in the moment - “be here now” is what they do best. We could learn to avoid rehashing gripes about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow (future tripping). Instead we might contrast rumination and anxiety with the gentle discipline of presence. We would do well to:  Be here now - everywhere else is too painful.

Embrace joy and delight in the simple things. This may seem sentimental, but it is true: dogs show rapid positive affect shifts from small and tiny pleasures - food, touch, sunshine, a familiar face. They are master appreciators of “small gifts.” Getting out in nature is a fast way to get in touch with our inner-doggy!

Play. Dogs are playful. Play is not trivial in mammals (or for children); it is practice for life, a regulator of stress, and a builder of social bonds. Dogs use play to reconnect after tension and to test social rules safely. I suggest us adults remember to play too. Being creative and dancing badly alone in my kitchen are some of the ways I get back in touch with my silly side. We should take fun seriously!

Be relentlessly enthusiastic & seek adventure. Dogs are curious and exploratory. In safe contexts, many dogs approach novelty rather than avoid it, especially when accompanied by a trusted figure. That combination, novelty plus safety, mirrors how humans become brave socially. “Being more dog” is not just a private wellbeing mantra but a civic one. In psychological terms, dogs model what we might call “low-cost prosocial bids”: small, friendly signals that say “I’m safe; you’re welcome.”

Be unashamed - care not what others’ think. Be sincere to your authentic self. Our culture can make it feel embarrassing to admit we want contact. The dog doesn’t negotiate with embarrassment. The dog just approaches. The buddi bench is a small architectural protest against performative independence. Many adults feel self-conscious about talking to strangers. Many of us are trained to treat strangers as threats or inconveniences, and to treat friendliness as naïve. “Be more dog” becomes a small act of defiance against a culture of guardedness. The buddi bench philosophy, for example, gives permission to practise that defiance safely.

Dogs are also, importantly, not purely virtuous. They can be territorial, anxious, jealous, reactive, and aggressive if threatened or poorly socialised.  So can we! The ideal is not to imitate every canine impulse, but to learn from the dog’s social directness, presence, and readiness to reconnect.

John Dunne wrote a beautiful poem called “No Man is an Island” about our interdependence, a stanza of which I quote below: 

"No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.”

John Dunne

We might be wise to reject the illusion or fantasy that the self is a sealed, self-sufficient unit.  Many of us live in “atomised communities” with a tendency to celebrate the “self-made millionaire” forgetting that likely hundreds of people likely helped them achieve their material successes.

Like dogs, we are pack-animals. It’s vital to recognise the importance of community. Dogs are loving, loyal, affiliative, relational, and communal. So are we. We are involved in mankind whether we choose it or not; so let’s behave as if that is true. Donne’s central claim is metaphysical and ethical at once. “No man is an island” means that separateness is an illusion. We are, whether we like it or not, woven into a larger human fabric. Our lives are interdependent: economically, emotionally, culturally, and existentially.

In psychological terms, dogs behave as if Donne is correct. A dog does not relate to the world as a set of isolated egos behind social masks. A dog assumes connection is permissible. It offers contact first - tail wagging, proximity, playful bids - rather than waiting for proof of safety. That matters, because modern loneliness is often sustained by hesitation: “Will I look foolish? Will I be rejected? Will I bother them?”

buddi bench is, in effect, a small piece of public architecture that makes Donne’s truth easier to feel. It turns us being “A part of the main” from an abstract idea into a lived moment: two strangers sharing ten minutes, discovering that the continental connection is not theoretical - it is sitting right next to them.

In a culture that trains us to pass one another like sealed capsules, the bench is a tiny civic correction: it re-normalises neighbourliness. It says, without forcing anything:  “You are not an island.” Sit for a moment. Be human with another human.” And “be more dog” gives the emotional tone for how to do it: warm, curious, unashamed, friendly, present.

Dunne reminds us that when someone is struggling, it is not only “their problem.” Their pain reverberates through the social fabric, often invisibly, just as kindness does. A brief conversation will not abolish grief, addiction, anxiety, or despair; but it can prevent the further worsening that happens when distress meets isolation. In that sense, a ten-minute chat is not small. It is a modest yet exponentially powerful act of social responsibility.

Diogenes, one of my favourite Greek philosophers, advocated for us to “Be more dog.” Diogenes was sceptical of status, pretence, and performative respectability - connecting that to modern loneliness.

“Be more dog” is a good modern slogan for something Diogenes took with almost ferocious seriousness. He did not mean “be cute” or “be cheerful.” He meant: live with the blunt integrity of an animal in a world where humans are constantly performing, pretending, and negotiating status. He was austere and provocative but we can be a little more gentle.

A little background matters. Diogenes is associated with the Cynic tradition. The very word “Cynic” comes from kynikos, “dog-like.” That label was partly an insult from others and partly something the Cynics embraced as a badge of honour. If you want to understand “be more dog” in a Diogenes-shaped way, it helps to treat “dog” as a philosophical symbol, not a pet.

First, “dog” meant radical naturalness. Diogenes thought many human anxieties are not inevitable; they are manufactured by social convention. Dogs eat when hungry, sleep when tired, rest when they can, and are not ashamed of their bodily reality. Humans, by contrast, wrap basic needs in layers of stigma, etiquette, and self-consciousness. “Be more dog,” then, is a protest against the tyranny of “what will people think?” It is an invitation to live closer to what is necessary and true, and further from what is performative.

“Dog” meant shamelessness, but not in the vulgar sense. The Greek term often used here is Anaideia, a kind of “unembarrassability.” Diogenes practised public acts that offended polite sensibilities. The point was not merely to shock; it was to demonstrate how arbitrary our shame can be. If a behaviour is harmless and natural, why should it be morally unacceptable? He wanted to expose the way “respectability” can become a moral counterfeit: looking good rather than being good. In modern terms, he was suspicious of “virtue-signalling” (a common occurrence on social media!) before we had a name for it.

“Dog” meant vigilance and truth-telling. Dogs bark. They warn. They react to intrusions. Diogenes cultivated Parrhesia - frank speech - aimed at puncturing self-deception. He saw most people as sleepwalking inside inherited beliefs: about success, honour, possessions, reputation. The Cynic’s job was to “bark” at these illusions, especially in the powerful. In that sense, “be more dog” is: be willing to say what is true, even when it costs you applause.

“Dog” meant disciplined simplicity. This is the part people often miss. Diogenes was not only anti-convention; he was pro-training. He practised Askesis: deliberate exercises of hardship and self-restraint. Why? Because you cannot be free if you are dependent on luxuries, comforts, or other people’s approval. The dog, in this symbolism, represents someone whose happiness does not require elaborate conditions. Autarkeia - self-sufficiency - was a central aim: reducing what you “need” so that life cannot so easily control you.

“Dog” meant a critique of false hierarchies. Dogs do not care about your job title. Dogs are sensitive to hierarchy and boundaries, but not obsessed with status-symbols like some of us humans can be. They do negotiate dominance and submission cues, yet they are not preoccupied with prestige as humans. Diogenes admired the dog because the dog is comparatively untroubled by those status calculations. “Be more dog” is therefore not merely about living in the moment; it is about approaching the social world with fewer defensive anxieties and rituals. Diogenes made a career of mocking status. He treated “importance” as a social hallucination: a collectively agreed story that keeps people anxious and obedient. His “dog-like” stance refused to participate in the theatre of prestige. He would rather be mocked and free than admired and trapped.

“Dog” meant cosmopolitan belonging. Diogenes is often credited with calling himself a citizen of the world (Kosmopolitēs). Dogs wander; they are not focused on artificial borders in the way humans are. Human dignity is not something earned by rank, wealth, or pedigree.

If you push Diogenes’ ideas hard enough, “Be more dog” might also mean: recognise kinship with ordinary humanity, not just your in-group.

Two important cautions, because Diogenes is not a mascot.

He can be misread as endorsing crude anti-sociality. But the deeper aim was ethical clarity. He was not trying to be “against people”; he was trying to be against illusion and unnecessary suffering. The Cynic is abrasive because he thinks politeness often protects nonsense.

His shamelessness is not a licence for selfishness. It is a discipline: the capacity to act from principle rather than from fear of judgement. That is morally demanding, not indulgent.

A distilled Diogenes-friendly translation of “Be more dog,” it might be this: live simply, train your desires, tell the truth, care less about reputation, and organise your life around what is genuinely necessary for virtue and freedom.

“Be more dog,” then, is not just a quirky motto - it’s a quiet blueprint for community: approach, notice, wag a little (metaphorically!), and recognise that maybe strangers aren’t so strange after all.

Finally, perhaps “Be More Dog!” encourages us to lick peoples’ faces by way of greeting!?

OK - maybe not the last one!

Right, I’m off for “Walkies!" on my way to my local buddi bench!

Woof, woof! 🐶

#BeMoreDog #WeeklyWordsOfWisdom #SethBuddiBench

*“Be More Dog!” - Weekly Words of Wisdom! (WWOW!) Written & Published by Seth Hunter on the buddi bench Blog - Wednesday 10th June 2026

🌧️📣 BUDDI BENCH BASH POSTPONED 📣🌧️

🌧️📣 BUDDI BENCH BASH POSTPONED 📣🌧️

Sadly, because of today’s rain, I’ve made the decision to postpone buddi bench bash! ☔️

Please don’t come along today - we don’t want anyone turning up and getting soaked! 🌧️🧥

I’m gutted but as one of the members’ of Bloco Fogo samba band said: “No-one likes a soggy sausage roll!” 🤢

But this is absolutely not cancelled forever — just postponed. buddi bench is all about bringing people together, encouraging kind conversations, and creating a bit more warmth in the world — and we’ll do exactly that on a new date. 🌤️💬🤝

Thank you so much to everyone who planned to come, helped spread the word, shared the event, encouraged me, or simply smiled at the idea of strangers becoming friends over a picnic. You’re brilliant! 🥰🧺✨

Please follow me and buddi bench on socials so you don’t miss the new date — and please help us spread the word that today’s event is postponed. 🙏📣

Thank you so much for your support, kindness and enthusiasm. The rain may have won today… but connection, compassion and community will win next time. 🥰✨

Seth x 🕺

buddibench.org

chat | connect | care

Creative responses to human distress

A slightly mad idea turns 4 years old tomorrow…

Tomorrow at 4.15pm (ish!) (UK Time) - Friday 15th May '26 - I’ll be live in the BBC Radio Kent studio talking about buddi bench bash! Tomorrow also marks exactly 4 years since I launched the very first buddi bench in Calverley Grounds, Tunbridge Wells, UK. 🙂

What started as a small local idea encouraging adult strangers to chat has grown into benches, events, podcasts, newsletters, videos, AI chat — and thousands of meaningful conversations.

If you’ve supported buddi bench in any way over the last four years: thank you.

And if you’d like to join us for buddi bench bash! ’26 — The UK’s Friendliest Picnic — I’d absolutely love to see you there.

Saturday 6th June ’26
12pm–3pm
Calverley Grounds, Tunbridge Wells

Click Here for Full Details on Facebook: Facebook Event Page

buddibench.org

Creative Responses to Human Distress

chat | connect | care

Seth x

Disapproval to Delight? Tutting to Togetherness? Frosty to Friendly?

Here are 3 reasons you must come to my buddi bench bash! '26

You: I find meeting new people hard!

Me: Brilliant! So do I! This is why I launched buddi bench. You are the perfect person to come along to our little gathering. We can all practice saying hi to new people in a relaxed environment. If you really don't want to come, you really should go!

You: I won't know anyone!

Me: After a few minutes you will! Volunteers will be on hand (wearing yellow buddi bench t-shirts) to encourage kind strangers to chat in a gentle, no-pressure way. If you're coming alone so are lots of other people - nothing to fear but fear itself! I'll be there in my distinctive bold green glasses and yellow buddi bench top so come say hi & I'll get you mixing and mingling like a networking diva!

You: It's too far away!

Me: No it's not! Tunbridge Wells is 45 mins from London Bridge by train or car. Similar times from the south coast. Calverley Gardens, the location of our picnic, is just a 3 mins walk from Tunbridge Wells Station. Plus a large municipal car-park next to our picnic venue. Why not make an afternoon of enjoying our Royal Spa Town? - you'll be grateful you made the effort.

Poster created with a lot of love by Seth Hunter for buddi bench - April 2026

So you're coming, right?

Great!

Full details & register your interest by clicking the button below:

Poster created with a lot of love by Seth Hunter for buddi bench - April 2026

I look forward to seeing you soon at THE UK's FRIENDLIEST PICNIC!

Seth x

Who will you meet at my buddi bench bash?

Ola buddies!👋🙂

I'm hoping to persuade you to pop along to a little gathering I'm organising - a thing I'm calling a buddi bench bash!🌼

You see I offer far more than just park benches as ways to bring people together.

So join me at The UK’s Friendliest Picnic! 😃🧺

A relaxed, feel-good afternoon in the park to help lovely humans connect with new people. 🌼💬

A chance to put our phones down & connect with new people in our community.

Expect:

🧺 BYO picnic (booze free)

🥁 Samba drumming with the AMAZING Bloco Fogo!

😊 Friendly new faces

❤️ Good vibes

Saturday 6th June ’26

12pm–3pm

Calverley Grounds (opposite the main cafe & parade gravel area)

Tunbridge Wells

TN1 2SH

Many of you don't live in Tunbridge Wells but I'm hoping you'll jump into/onto a form of transport and make the journey - it will be worth it! We're only 50 mins from London Bridge Station for example. 5 min walk from Tunbridge Wells station plus a multi-story car-parks very close by.

Full details here on my Facebook Event Page:

https://fb.me/e/4vXmFKbcZ

Come on your own if you like — many people will! Or bring a friend or 3! — all welcome! 🌈No pressure to stay long - even 10 minutes is perfect.

I know meeting new people can feel daunting (I find it hard too) so pop along and look out for me! I'll be wearing a bright yellow branded buddi bench top and funky green-framed glasses. I promise to be "the host with the most" and introduce you to other fabulous humans! Volunteers will also be there on the day to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to chat with new people.

Please do share these details with anyone that you think might enjoy meeting a new, kind person at The UK’s Friendliest Picnic - buddi bench bash! '26 😃🧺

buddibench.org 🪑

chat | connect | care

Help us go from "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells!" to "Delighted of Tunbridge Wells!" Less tuts, more chats! 😜

WARNING! May lead to smiles, chats & restored faith in humanity!😵‍💫

Want to help Seth & buddi bench bring people together?

Tired of seeing division amongst us all in the news & on social media?

Me too!

Part of the solution are initiatives like buddi bench.

And now...

buddi bench Arrives in Edinburgh Just in Time for Christmas!

I’m delighted to announce that I’ve secured another spot for a buddi bench in the heart of Edinburgh, UK.

I’m spending this weekend before xmas standing by our new bench and explaining how this scheme works, while handing out flyers about this new resource.

Already there is keen local interest in this initiative and we’re being talked about in the media:

https://edinburghmagazine.com/take-a-seat-say-hello-social-connection-gets-a-boost-with-edinburghs-buddi-bench/

Short of time? Highlights from the article published in Edinburgh magazine:

“AT A TIME WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE FEEL DISCONNECTED, A SMALL FRIENDLY CHAT CAN MAKE A SURPRISINGLY BIG DIFFERENCE,” SAYS FOUNDER & CEO SETH HUNTER.

“EDINBURGH IS A WARM AND SPIRITED CITY, AND THE WELLINGTON STATUE LOCATION GIVES PEOPLE A NATURAL PAUSE POINT TO REST, MEET SOMEONE NEW, AND FEEL A BIT LESS ALONE.”

A Simple Idea at a Time When It Matters Most

Across the UK, loneliness is on the rise — and Edinburgh is no exception. The buddi bench offers an uplifting, creative, and accessible response. No apps, no sign-ups, no requirements: just a beautifully designed bench and an open invitation to talk."

This beautiful bench costs just £3,000 all-in so let’s join forces and try and meet this target by giving us a donation via our website homepage or simply click this go fund me link below:

https://gofund.me/650b27085

Consider this a gift to those at Christmas that might be lonely and would love to chat | connect | care with kind strangers.

Thanks Buddies! x

buddibench.org

Creative responses to human distress

chat | connect | care

Want to Join the Team Now We're Officially a Community Interest Company!?

Here's an exciting opportunity for you.

Two days ago I officially registered a new not-for-profit Umbrella organisation called: buddi Creatives Community Interest Company. This means we are registered legally as a not-for-profit and that we are professionalising our work. There are LOTs of exciting developments bubbling away but this is an email for another time.

As loyal supporters of our work I wanted to give you the first opportunity to join our organisation as a non-executive Director/Board member.

Below is the officially blurb. If you'd like to find out more then simply email me:

seth@buddibench.org

Our work is gaining real traction and thriving and this is an opportunity for you to be part of this movement as offer even more: Creative Responses to Human Distress.

Do also check out of new, funky website which should give you more ideas as to why we offer much more than just buddi benches.

buddibench.org

Here's the Ad:

📣 We’re Recruiting Non-Executive Directors  

buddi Creatives Community Interest Company (CIC) (Umbrella Not-for-Profit Organisation including buddi bench Ltd & virtuallyseth.ai)

buddi Creatives CIC is growing — fast. Our mission is simple and ambitious:  

To reduce loneliness, strengthen human connection, and bring compassion back into public life.

We offer: Creative Responses to Human Distress.

We’re particularly focused on supporting those with mental health challenges or are seeking recovery from addiction issues.

Through our buddi benches (now in Tunbridge Wells, London and soon Edinburgh), community initiatives, creative wellbeing projects, events, digital resources, and our innovative AI companion virtuallyseth.ai, we’re building friendly, accessible spaces where people talk, connect and feel less alone.

We are now seeking Non-Executive Directors to join our Board and help shape the next chapter of this rapidly expanding social-impact organisation.

✨ The Role  

As a Non-Executive Director, you will provide thoughtful guidance, strategic oversight, and supportive challenge to help ensure strong governance, ethical practice, and mission-focused growth.  

You’ll work closely with our Founder & CEO, Seth Hunter, contributing to:

• Strategic direction and long-term planning  

• Development of new benches, programmes, and partnerships  

• Oversight of governance, compliance, and CIC responsibilities  

• Financial stewardship and sustainability  

• Community engagement and public benefit  

  • Ensuring that everything we do advances our mission: Creative responses to human distress

Time commitment: 2 - 4 hours per month, including a monthly Zoom meeting and light engagement via our Directors’ WhatsApp group chat and responding to occasional calls and emails.

The role is voluntary.

🌱 What We’re Looking For  

We welcome expressions of interest from people who are:

• Compassionate, reliable, and values-driven  

• Thoughtful communicators who enjoy collaboration  

• Committed to reducing loneliness and improving wellbeing  

• Able to provide strategic insight and supportive challenge  

• Guided by integrity, respect, and good governance  

Helpful (not essential) experience may include:  

Governance, finance, fundraising, mental health, addiction recovery, social care, digital content, community engagement, events, partnerships or charity/CIC leadership.

Above all: a warm heart and clear head.

💛 Why Join Us?  

This is a chance to help shape a unique social impact organisation with national and international potential - to join us at ground level. You will play a meaningful role in:

• Reducing loneliness across the UK & beyond

• Expanding a network of conversation-friendly benches  

• Supporting creative community-based wellbeing work  

• Developing innovative resources and events  

• Helping people feel seen, heard, and connected  

Small acts of kindness can change lives — and your leadership can help bring this mission to thousands more.

📨 How to Apply  

To express interest or request an informal chat, please message Seth Hunter directly here on LinkedIn or email:  

seth@buddibench.org

We would love to speak with you.

https://buddibench.org

Puppy Power!

What have cute puppies got to do with me (Seth!) & buddi bench?

Puppies were THE inspiration behind the setting up of buddi bench!

Yes really.

       

Walking my puppy called “May” (short for “Mayhem”!) I found that kind strangers would stop & chat. They would make a fuss of May & talk about the weather with me!

I was amazed to realise that just a few short daily chats with friendly strangers radically improved my mood. More effective than any anti-depressant I’d tried.

The chats were brief and not particularly profound - yet left me feeling great.

I felt like I’d stumbled across a powerful antidote to low mood & isolation and wanted to share this simple solution towards much of human distress.

buddi bench brings you the wonders of short chats while caring for a puppy without the commitment of dog ownership & avoiding the demands of daily walks!

buddi bench facilitates friendly chats amongst adult strangers (using a unique bench rather than a puppy as a conversation starter) as a simple yet powerful way to build individual and collective resilience.

We replace a sense of isolation with one of connection. This is a crucial part of the antidote to human distress.

To see what else I & buddi bench offer you do check out my new funky website!

buddibench.org

"Creative responses to human distress”

Support me & buddi bench via subscribing to my socials:

msha.ke/buddibench

(if on a mobile device - otherwise subscribe via the socials on the bottom of my website)

Thanks buddies.

Seth x

#PuppyPower #ChatConnectCare #BuddiBench #CreativeResponsesToHumanDistress

From Adversity to Inspiration! Watch Seth's Debut Animation!

Seth has something special for you this week.

Seth & buddi bench offer you much more than benches in parks to encourage connection & compassion between adult strangers.

We offer: "Creative responses to human distress" including:

Live Events; Newsletter/Blog; YouTube Channel/Podcasts/Animation; AI chat; 1-on-1 support for mental health and addiction recovery; Art, Fashion and Merch.

Seth is particularly fond of animations so he decided to write and direct his very own debut animation. The script is below and the animation can be watched by clicking the link at the bottom of this post which takes you to Seth's YouTube Channel.

Hope you enjoy this WWOW! (Weekly Words Of Wisdom!) #02 of #52.

Here's the script Seth wrote:

From Adversity to Inspiration - Animation Script - by Seth Hunter for buddi bench

Do you ever struggle to live well? I do too. Life’s adversities are inescapable - as Shakespeare’s Hamlet put it, we all face “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” Similarly, the Buddhists teach that “life is suffering” unless met with skilful guidance.

Paradoxically, accepting these truths can make us more content. We don’t have to like what we can’t control - only focus on what we can. It’s tempting to compare ourselves to others (compare and despair), but even the most outwardly successful people carry pain and shame. It's a cognitive distortion to compare others’ outsides with our insides. Many of us hide our vulnerabilities, denying what Carl Jung called the “shadow side” - the subconscious parts of ourselves we reject and often project onto others.

Unhappy childhoods are a common lament. As Philip Larkin wrote:

"They fu%k you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do...
... But they were fu%ked up in their turn..."

Parents, often struggling with their own wounds, pass on unresolved trauma. Pain that is not transcended is often transmitted. Hurt people hurt people.

For years, I resented my challenges - a suicidal father, trauma, addiction, and bipolar disorder. I sometimes pitied myself until a friend suggested that I, “turn shite into manure.” At first, I bristled, but she explained: pain is inevitable; misery is optional. I may not be responsible for my distress, but I am responsible for my healing and recovery. We can transform adversity into inspiration and beauty.

Therapy embraces this idea. It tells us: go to your wounds; therein lies your genius. Psychological pain signals the need for attention, just like physical pain. We instinctively recoil from a hot flame to avoid burning ourselves - our emotional distress serves a similar purpose. The pain is not the problem, it points to the solution. It invites us to uncover, discover, and discard what no longer serves us. By confronting our struggles, we grow into our true selves, gaining depth and grace.

Life is like driving a car. Focus on the road ahead (stay in the now), check the rear-view mirror (look back but don’t stare), and mind our blind spots (acknowledge the limits of our perception). If we dwell too much on the past (ruminate on old injuries and resentments), obsess about the future ("future-tripping"), or fixate on the unknowable and uncontrollable (lose focus on our own sphere of influence), we risk crashing. Balance is key. As Kierkegaard reminds us:

"Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards."

Let’s not suppress or resent our pain. Instead, let’s seek to understand it with compassion and let it guide us toward becoming our authentic selves. As Nietzsche said:

"One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star."

We are all made of stardust - let’s sparkle like the celestial beings we are!

Link to watch Seth’s Animation on his YouTube Channel: From Adversity to Inspiration

https://youtu.be/mAImJHz727U

Please share the above link on your socials - sharing is caring!

Subscribe easily to Seth’s YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/@buddi-bench?sub_confirmation=1

To see all that we offer at buddi bench be sure to check-out Seth's new website:

https://buddibench.org

Thanks buddies!

Seth x

Freedom from Want? Weekly Words Of Wisdom! (WWOW!) #01

'I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.'

- Jim Carey

“Shame your mind, don't shine like your possessions do.”

Faithless lyric from the song “I Want More”

“Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.”

- Epictetus

Ever found yourself earning money by doing a job you hate, to buy things you don’t need, to impress people you don’t like? Seduced by mere hedonic immediate gratification masquerading as need?

Me too.

What to do about the gravitation pull of materialism?

* Before I get a little “philosophical & intellectual” it seems wise to contextualise this musing on materialism. I’m very aware that in the UK & beyond many of us struggle to pay our rent or bills and not everyone gets to eat 3 meals a day (I regularly run out of money). This mini-essay is not about trying to make the unacceptable acceptable. When 2 parents both in full-time employment need the support of food-banks to survive, this suggests that the way things are shared amongst ourselves is perverse and broken. Feeding and clothing ourselves and keeping the lights is genuine need not want or an unhealthy relationship with material possessions.

This musing of mine is me “thinking out loud” about my own struggles with delineating between my wants and needs. I don’t wish to have an opinion about others’ relationships with the material world. Arguably most research is “me-search”. I too love shiny things. I simply hope that sharing some of my ideas not only helps me but might be of benefit to you too. If not, no harm done. Live and let live.

So what do I need to not just survive but to thrive?

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a psychological theory proposed by Abraham Maslow that suggests human motivation is driven by a progression of needs, arranged in a pyramid structure from the most basic to the most advanced. At the base are physiological needs—such as food, water, shelter, and rest—followed by safety needs like security and stability. Once these are met, individuals focus on love and belonging, seeking relationships, connection, and community, and then esteem needs, including self-respect, recognition, and achievement. At the top is self-actualisation, the pursuit of personal growth, creativity, and fulfilment of one’s potential. Maslow argued that higher-level needs become a priority only after lower-level ones are reasonably satisfied, highlighting a natural progression toward psychological well-being and self-development. The key idea is we need to have the base of the pyramid in place until we can really excel and find contentment.

Assuming that my needs are generally catered for what about my wants?

Having lots of lovely stuff so nearly scratches the itch of want doesn’t it? It’s hard not to obsess over something that so nearly works.

The problem is I can never get enough of what I don’t really need.

A funnier man than I made the observation that trying to get satisfaction from the material world is like taping sandwiches to your legs as a way to satiate your hunger.

I love a bit of Greek Philosophy and my favourite chap is Diogenes.

Diogenes was almost the archetype of anti-materialism — not just in theory, but in a way that was deliberately shocking to his contemporaries. His entire life was a protest against the belief that possessions, wealth, or social status were necessary for a good life.

Radical Simplicity

Diogenes owned almost nothing — just a cloak (he folded it so that it could double as bedding), a staff, and a small bag. He chose to live in a large storage jar in the marketplace of Athens. He famously discarded his drinking cup after watching a boy drink water from the hollow of his hands, saying that he was not aware until that moment that "nature had already provided him with a cup.”

Freedom Through Detachment

For Diogenes, possessions were not just physical burdens but also emotional chains. By needing almost nothing, he became immune to bribery, flattery, or fear of loss. The fewer things you depend on, the less control others have over you.

Rejecting Social Status as a False Measure

He mocked the pursuit of luxury and the people who equated wealth with worth. When Alexander the Great visited him and offered to grant any wish, Diogenes famously asked that he only wanted that Alexander: “Stand out of my sunlight.” Diogenes suggested that true worth comes from inner self-sufficiency, not from pleasing the powerful or owning more.

Living According to Nature

Diogenes believed most human misery came from living in artificial conformity to social expectations, including those around wealth. He sought a life guided by natural needs — food, shelter, companionship — without the excesses of luxury. Aligning life with genuine human needs cuts through the illusions that fuel materialism.

Public Provocation as a Mirror

Diogenes often behaved in ways society found outrageous — eating in the marketplace (and other socially unacceptable things!), sleeping in a barrel, even mocking rich citizens to their faces. These provocations were meant to expose the absurdity of conventional values, especially the obsession with wealth. Sometimes it takes bold, uncomfortable truths to wake us from the dream of materialism.


Diogenes teaches that materialism enslaves not only through the effort of acquiring possessions but through the fear of losing them. Radical independence can be achieved through reducing needs to the essentials — brings a kind of freedom and dignity that wealth can never buy. His life asks me to consider whether our possessions serve me, or whether I have become their servant?

Arguably Diogenes took the idea of not needing things to an extreme.

Let’s turn to the buddhists who specialise in seeking “the middle way”.

  • Please note: Other religions are available! :)

The Buddha did not advocate extreme poverty or extreme indulgence, but a balanced life free from the compulsive pursuit of wealth. Buddhism approaches materialism as a symptom of attachment — one of the core causes of human suffering according to the Four Noble Truths. Rather than condemning wealth outright, Buddhist teaching focuses on how clinging to possessions, status, or sensory pleasures binds the mind to a cycle of craving and dissatisfaction.

Buddhists suggest all physical possessions are impermanent. Clinging to them is like holding on to water — eventually, it slips away. A case in point: you never really own an umbrella. You buy one and call it “mine”. But it is only a matter of time until you leave it on a bus or a train. You only ever really borrow possessions. The more we depend on impermanent things for our identity or happiness, the more we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Giving freely is considered an antidote to materialism by Buddhists. By practicing generosity without expectation of return, the grip of craving is loosened, and compassion is strengthened. Material possessions are not inherently wrong, but the attachment, craving, and identification with them create suffering. Freedom comes from understanding impermanence, loosening clinging, practicing generosity, and living with mindful balance — finding contentment in the present rather than chasing fulfilment through acquisition.

So what has writing this diatribe taught me?

Much of what I think I “need” is actually “want in disguise” and optional; simplicity can be liberating. Not that wanting per-se is bad, this isn’t about judging myself or anyone else. But it is helpful to recognise that much of what I want isn’t that good for me and probably won’t solve the issues I think it will. Once my needs are met, I rarely fix my internal discomfort via changing my external circumstances.

I’ve also reminded myself to avoid extremes. Diogenes rocks and really makes me think but I don’t need to give everything away and go live in a cave to be content. I’m aware of my own tendencies towards extremes and the ideals proposed by buddhist philosophy sensitises me to the wisdom in moderation plus what might be unhealthy attachments. Sometimes when my mind insists that I turn left or right, tries to convince me that my options are binary, there may be a third option, a way through via the middle way.

My final takeaway?

The less I need, the richer I am.

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We Take Fun Seriously...

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We give you much more than friendship benches in your local parks.

We believe that a key antidote to human distress is creativity and connection.

Indeed, we take fun seriously.

So enjoy this short series of Seth morphing into freaky characters. Seth had a lot of fun creating these and hopes that they serve to remind us to make time to be silly and playful as part of our self-care.

Freaky Seth Compilation Short Vids x 4

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Freaky Seth Compilation Short Vids no. 01 of 04

https://youtube.com/shorts/zFt8DOu22G8?feature=share

Freaky Seth Compilation Short Vids no. 02 of 04

https://youtube.com/shorts/kEqxdraU1zg?feature=share

Freaky Seth Compilation Short Vids no. 03 of 04

https://youtube.com/shorts/1BfcZrra_cY?feature=share

Freaky Seth Compilation Short Vids no. 04 of 04

https://youtube.com/shorts/zbBjYV7SicI?feature=share

Remember that sharing is caring so do share these vids on your socials.

Thanks buddies.

Seth x

#FreakySeth #WeTakeFunSeriously #BuddiBench

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